If you are reading this, that person is probably not you. For most of us, online dating is frustrating, especially if you take it seriously. Potential suitors are often flighty, defensive, and shallow. People lie. People ghost. Sure, you may find exactly what you are looking for. But more than likely, you just end up being grossed out by the behavior of strangers. Online dating apps were supposed to make things easier. They were supposed to facilitate the search for true love. Instead, more and more users of apps like Tinder have discovered the dangers of online dating outweigh the potential rewards.

While this post is not meant to discourage you from dating online, it is meant to educate you about the psychological risks, so that you will be in a better position to protect yourself. Dating is inherently risky.

Most relationships fail. Sometimes, you get your heart broken. Online dating, however, takes those costs to another level. In early , the Pew Research Center published the results of a study about online dating in America. While it does note a few positive features, like convenience, the study also identifies some concerning trends. One study published in BMC Psychology in March found that people who use online dating apps are more likely to be depressed, anxious, or to feel distressed as a result.

Another study in Body Image , published in , showed that female Tinder users struggled with body image issues and that male users struggled with low self-esteem. And according to the latest trends in plastic surgery , social media and dating apps play a significant role in people turning to cosmetic surgery.

It may be a little of both. What is clear is that we should be careful. Online dating is essentially a form of social media , and we all know that social media interactions tend to be more toxic, divisive, and antisocial than most real world interactions. The bottom line: one of the dangers of online dating is exposure to stressors that dispose some users to increased amounts of depression and anxiety. When dating in the real world, most of us only have one or two opportunities at a time.

A friend who has a friend, or perhaps someone you meet at a bar. When we have too many choices, decisions become overwhelming. The famous jam experiment documents this phenomenon well. Basically, they found that people make better decisions when they have fewer choices.

He states that having too many choices is both exhausting and paralyzing, promotes unrealistic expectations, and encourages self-blame if we make the wrong decision. Think about how this applies to the world of online dating. How many hundreds of potential matches have you swiped left on without giving so much as a second glance?

How many times has the same thing happened to you? There is also a major paradox of choice when it comes to choosing the right dating app. There are HUNDREDS of options available and it can be overwhelming to decide which is the right one for you. The bottom line: one of the dangers of online dating is an overabundance of choice. It stresses you out , increases your anxiety, and leads to frustration and unhappiness. Rejection is a fact of life.

There are more than 7 billion people on the planet, and not all of them are going to like you. Learning to deal with rejection in healthy ways is a key feature of adulthood. But surely we were never meant to be bombarded with rejection, right?

Julie Spira is America's Top Online Dating Expert. Follow JulieSpira on IG. Thanks for your comment Christy. Both women and men can become online dating addicts.

How did she know? Because she was also went back on the website. In further conversations I have discovered that, during the 4 month period, she was communicating with other guys from the dating site. So, there is a strongly implied if almost explicit belief the reason they are communicating is becaues of a possible romantic connection. It just shows that the online dating addiction is more complicated than what it appears, and it affects both men and women.

Thanks for your comment Richard and I agree, this does affect both men and women. Your email address will not be published. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed. Get great dating advice and info about new trends in the digital dating world delivered directly to your inbox! This website uses cookies so that we can provide you with the best user experience possible. Another reason for the appearance of Internet addiction, which is closely related to the previous one, is the impossibility of self-expression.

A man with difficulty expressing his thoughts, unable to defend his point of view, fearful of public appearances, afraid of condemnation of a real society, in general, a man unsure of himself, can safely say on the web everything that is bothering him, without the fear of disapproval and misunderstanding. Another closely related type of Internet addiction is the so-called cybersex addiction - it is an obsession with viewing porn films on the web and cybersex. It is common among men addicted to online dating.

While seemingly innocuous, dating app addiction is a very serious problem. Today, many married couples break up or stand on the verge of collapse because one of the spouses is addicted to dating sites to satisfy their sexual needs via the Internet.

People who suffer from this dependence do not have enough time for ordinary communication, so the emotional gap in relations with real people is gradually increasing - family, children, friends, work and study fade into the background, while internet dating site addiction takes over a person. Recently, the popular English newspaper The Daily Mail published the opinion of a number of scientists, which said that online pornography gave rise to a younger generation, unable to be excited in the course of normal sexual contacts.

The publication concluded that impotence is younger now and is no longer a problem for only middle-aged and elderly people. What causes dating site addiction? Generally, it is sexual dissatisfaction both for teenagers beginning sexual life and for people of all ages , deterioration of sexual relations with partners, lack of communication, disagreement in a family.

The Internet features accessibility, anonymity, permissiveness, lack of commitment and psychological need adjust to a partner only contribute to the emergence of internet dating site addiction. So how exactly do you stop online dating addiction? What is the path of online dating addiction recovery? Not surprisingly, the treatment of Internet addiction has become part of the job of psychologists and psychiatrists, because people with unhealthy cravings for the "World Wide Web" is becoming more and more prevalent.

Dependence on the Internet affects both men and women, both young to a greater extent and adult citizens, and their number is growing every year. The inability to get rid of the internet addiction leads those unsuspecting of the negative consequences of the online life users to medical institutions, where they are treated for mental disorders that have become a manifestation of attachment to the Internet, and not from Internet addiction, since the diagnosis "Internet addiction" does not exist yet.

However, if the international community has not yet fully realized the scale of the disaster, in some countries, Internet addiction is officially recognized as a disease and its treatment is sometimes carried out with very radical methods. So, for example, in China, where the first clinic for the treatment of Internet addiction appeared back in , patients are assigned an electric shock - a device giving a voltage of thirty volts to the body.

That is quite a savage way, in my opinion, to handle online dating addiction recovery. When contacting the clinic, Chinese specialists first conduct a diagnosis for the person's dependence. Further, medication, acupuncture and physical exercise are prescribed.

In such clinics, a strict schedule is set for patients: within days that's how long the treatment lasts on average a person gets up at six in the morning, goes in for sports, sings laudatory songs, takes antidepressants and gets discharges of electric current. Also, in China there are special barracks camps for teenagers under 18 years old. There they are brought by parents for up to six months. All this time, teenagers, who are dependent on the Internet, are on the territory of the centers, study the training system and, like adults, they are treated with electricity discharges.

Such an Internet dependence treatment is not understood in the world, and even some local doctors are against it, especially if it concerns the treatment of children: "Such methods are too cruel, and on the contrary, they inflict deep psychological trauma on children, nevertheless, they are used everywhere. Today in China there are many clinics for the treatment of Internet addiction.

Sep 2, Dating Apps , Hard Truth , Mental Health , Online Dating Safety. I am a big fan of online dating when done correctly. Unfortunately, there is still a stigma around dating apps and that has led to people not being as open about situations that arise like catfishing, depression, body issues and more.

Single parents, busy professionals, those who are new to a city etc. can benefit when time is limited, routines and ability to go out all the time is scarce or when you are looking to meet others you normally would not have met due to constraints of friends, social circles, neighborhoods and more. Dating apps are nor ordering apps. They are merely introduction tools. Dating apps require thick skin, patience, focused effort, luck and skills to make it worthwhile.

Related reading : Taking A Break From Dating Apps. Dating apps are merely an introduction tool yet many people treat them like ordering apps Doordash, UberEats etc.

or rely on them exclusively to meet others instead of just another supplemental channel. This can lead to harmful, negative effects such as devaluing yourself, putting all your self worth into dating apps, getting false hope, being on the receiving end of rejection and making mental health issues even worst.

Not everyone on dating apps are ready to date, wanting to date or being honest. Lots of patience, self-awareness, effort, good photos, decent writing skills, life experience, approachability, timing and strategy is needed to have success on dating apps. Below is a guide to what to expect from dating apps and how to approach them so you can assess whether they are right for you.

Dating apps should merely be another introduction tool to facilitate meeting people outside your work, school, routines and social circles. Addictive volume based apps result in a low conversion rate of swipes to matches to dates yielding obscenely high levels or rejection. More thoughtful relationship based apps are better but excessive filtering and preferences can limit your available pool of users.

Learn more about how to meet people offline in your area. Chances are if you have absolutely zero traction in the first 3 months of using dating apps, take a break.

Get independent feedback on your app choice, preferences, photos, appearance, smiles, outfits, bio, prompt choices and first lines used.

Going on more than that is bad for your mental health. In both cases, these apps often rely on monetization efforts to stay in business; as such getting folks hooked on dating apps and leading them to think a recurring monthly fee will help their dating woes can sometimes provide false hope.

Paying to see who likes you, revealing possible hidden profiles, figuring out who has read your messages, extending windows for replies and boosting visibility can not only artificially inflate hopes but detracts from where the focus should be — yourself. Read this handy post with helpful resource articles, studies, surveys and more.

Some behaviors that you are spending too much time on dating apps can include neglecting plans with friends, preference for swiping inside vs going outside, swiping too quickly and often without fully reviewing profiles, going out with people you normally would avoid for good cause if you met offline, using dating apps because you are lonely, need a confidence boost or bored.

Excessive use can lead to increase levels of anxiety i. App notifications, buggy apps lead to high levels of anxiety — not worth it if you have trouble with such situations. Other reasons that things are heading down the wrong path include putting too much pressure on a first date , getting emotionally attached before meeting someone in person, being easily flattered by early and excessive compliments, spending months or even years without obtaining likes, matches, conversations or dates.

The other thing to look out for is creating duplicate profiles, trying to game the system, engaging in bad behavior online that you would never do offline because of anonymity. When using dating apps, you should have the same outlook as if you were meeting people offline. Do I like this person? Do I want to see them again? Did we have fun? Trying to figure out if this person is the one is too much pressure to put on a first or second date. Additionally, no one person should be able to exert so much control over your emotions especially early on.

If conversations are one-sided, dates are continually postponed or if one person is constantly starting conversations, that might be a sign the other person is not taking things seriously. Anonymity provides a cloak in which some people act worse than if they were to encounter folks in person. Ghosting on dating apps sudden, unexplained drop in communication and abandonment as well as verbal and dehumanizing assault are not that uncommon.

Pathological and narcissistic behavior can arise from folks looking for validation at the expense of treating others poorly in an attempt to yield power and control over others. Endless queue of profiles can give a sense of disposability when it comes to options. Often times folks question if there are better options around the corner given the ease at which one can meet others through dating apps. Any deception intentional or accidental may delay heartbreak and rejection.

Some folks use outdated photos or lie about their age to secure a date in hopes they can convince the person to give them a chance. Relationships that begin with lies often fail. You have to be honest with yourself before you can be honest with others. When it comes to dates, take quantity over quantity.

Online dating is hard. It is merely another channel for meeting other folks, it is not a shortcut. Make sure you are working on your soft skills exercise, eating well, career, friends, family, hobbies, classes etc. People want to meet and date others that interest them, inspire them, can teach them something, can carry a conversation, that have good energy levels.

If you ignore these items, it will be hard to have success beyond date 1. Get unbiased feedback on your profile friends have a tendency to avoid telling you the truth , take breaks, work on yourself at all times. Relying too much on dating apps can have dire consequences that can affect morale, confidence, self-worth and trust resulting in depression.

As with all social media, success stories and experiences can be one-sided, and inflated. While its possible people can meet others with days or weeks of signing up on an app, it usually takes much longer than that to meet quality people.

Choosing the right app , photos, bios, messages go a long way but health, looks, work, mental health, exercise, social life, hobbies, and communication skills are oftentimes overlooked. Second-guessing appearances and comparing oneself to others can lead people down rabbit-holes echoing body-shaming. Many users of dating apps report that their first dates from dating apps can oftentimes be uncomfortable, brutal or unrewarding.

Inability to transition from online messaging to offline dates is a point of frustration many daters experience leaving them to wonder, is online dating worth it? Dating when depressed can make your mental health even worst. It puts too much pressure on strangers to lift you up. It clouds your judgment as people tend to overlook red flags to avoid being lonely, ignored.

Dating requires energy, focus, positivity, enthusiasm and trust which are all difficult to master when depressed. Getting feedback on your relationship history, attachment patterns and confidence, conversation skills, outlook on life and intentions are crucial when deciding to dip your toes back in the dating pool. There are lot of scammers out there that prey on people dating apps especially if there divorced, lonely, depressed or have been on dating apps for a long time.

Love-bombing is a term where someone floods you with compliments and promises of affection etc. mostly even before meeting you. You should never develop strong feelings for someone you have not met or someone too soon.

Love takes time, effort, patience and an ability to read people. Not everyone who joins a dating app is in a good place. Pain and trauma from an ex, depression or other conditions can severely worsen with dating apps.

There are many highs and lows with online dating and putting too much pressure can lead to unhealthy expectations and dependencies. Ideally you should seek help before attempting to use dating apps if you are dealing with such conditions as dating apps have a tendency to make these things worst. Rejected by every girl — this is not uncommon. Many people have bad photos, choose wrong apps, lack good conversation skills or lack an approachable personality.

Dating apps require time, good photos, luck, patience, thick skin, continual self-improvement, self-awareness and realistic expectations. Dating apps should be just one method for meeting people. They should not serve as a crutch for you and make up for poor communication skills, shyness, desire to go outside and meet people through friends and social functions.

Once you meet someone on a dating app, you need all the offline skills to be effective including communication skills, date planning skills etc. Having a well-rounded life, good mental health, emotional availablity and ability to read people are recommended to be successful with dating apps. Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results. Hire a therapist, consult with an unbiased professional regarding your profile, app choice, photos, etc to see where you can change your luck.

With dating apps, people tend to put too much, too quickly into others whether its because of loneliness, depression, lack of friends or position in life. Expecting someone to be your friend, mentor, lover, therapist, financial advisor, athletic partner and share your passions, interests completely and with the same intensity as you. This is impossible unless you expect your partner to give up their life, their hobbies, passions etc.

to serve you. These hats are generally shared amongst friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, college roommates, therapists, and long distance friends.

Diversifying your needs should mirror how you would diversify a portfolio for lack of a better metaphor. Figure out what you are willing to try, what your are willing to practice on and what you absolutely cannot stand.

There is a fine line in being completely uninterested in engaging in certain activities, routines etc. Some people expect their partners to fit in perfectly into their schedules, routines, lifestyles and master plans.

Look for a balance of mutual passions, priorities, effort and lifestyles as well as complementing skills, habits and qualities. No one should want a clone of themselves. Lastly, developing skills to detect scammers is extremely important. There are many lonely, insecure, and depressed people on dating apps and unfortunately scammers and predators know this. Read this guide on online dating red flags. Excessive use of dating apps can yield similar dangers as seen with gamers and gamblers with respect to addiction and lack of social interaction.

If you use apps for too long or long enough that you start to let it affect other parts of your life, you can be experiencing dating app fatigue.

He gets up and goes to the bathroom. Research on dating app addiction is still in its infancy, but the data suggests it is a cause for concern. That is the most straightforward of the online dating addiction signs. Today, any modern person at least once a day visits the World Wide Web for communication, work or simply searching for the necessary information. Thanks for your comment Christy. While its possible people can meet others with days or weeks of signing up on an app, it usually takes much longer than that to meet quality people. In further conversations I have discovered that, during the 4 month period, she was communicating with other guys from the dating site.

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